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DecYouv 95-6-55 YOU’VE GOT TO BE BELIEVED
TO BE HEARD Bert Decker New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1992, 300 pp |
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On being an effective public speaker. He coined the term “First Brain,” by which
he means “the emotional part of the mind.” Communicating is a
contact sport. 4 To
communicate you must make emotional contact. 13 People buy on emotion and justify by fact. 16 1. The spoken word is almost the polar
opposite of the written word. 2. In the spoken medium, what you say must be
believed to have impact. 3. Believability
is overwhelmingly determined at a preconscious level. 31 If you want a raise, don’t send a memo: Get into the office and persuade the boss that you’re worth
it. Show him. 32 No message, regardless of how eloquently stated, brilliantly
defended, and painstakingly documented it may be, is able to penetrate a wall
of distrust, apprehension, or indifference.
And for your message to be believed, you must be believable. 34 Be natural. Use energy, enthusiasm, motion, expression - multichannel,
nonverbal cues which make emotional contact.
54 Trust and believability are virtually synonymous. 55 The First Brain works at a preconscious, nonverbal
level. It transforms a gesture, a glance,
an inflection into instant feelings and emotion. It sees everything in one glance. 61 Likability is the
shortest path to believability and trust. 61 Nine ways to transform your personal impact: 79
9. The Natural Self The visual sense dominates all of the senses. 81 Believability:
Verbal 7% Vocal 38% Visual 55%
84 When you appear nervous, awkward, or under pressure, your
verbal content is blocked by your inconsistent vocal and visual message. 85 Eye communication is
your number one skill. 86 Contact eyes, not faces.
Look at people for 4-6 seconds.
91 Dress and groom up, not down. It is safer to be overdressed than underdressed. 101 When you communicate, are you enthused? Excited?
Do you speak with conviction and passion? Your listener’s First Brain wants to know how you really feel about what you are saying. 105 Your
voice is the vehicle of your message.
Learn to drive that vehicle like a Lamborghini.
Push it, open it up...”Floor it!”
123 Listen to yourself on audiotape. 124 Once you really
hear your voice you can change it. The difference
between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between
lightening and a lightening-bug.
130 (Mark Twain) Count the non-words you use (uhhh, well, you know, so, okay, etc.) 135 Exercises in pausing probably have the second biggest and
most immediate payoff in your communication effectiveness. 136 Eight
techniques to involve your listener:
139-41 1. Use
drama. 2.
Maintain eye communication 3. Move 4. Use
visuals 5. Ask
questions (rhetorical) 6. Use
demonstrations. 7. Use
samples and gimmicks. 8. Create interest (keep your own interest level high) Make the formal
informal. 145 Think funny, and you will begin to see the humor around
you and use it in your communications.
What makes you laugh? Is it
wry wit, personal asides, puns? Find
out, ad use it in your own communications.
146 Re listening: Real
people need real communication, including feedback, interaction, and attention. They need contact. It is not enough to listen with one
ear. It’s not enough to listen with
both ears. We need to listen with our
eyes. 197 Feedback should consist of three strengths and three
distractions. 223 Ask people to take a blank piece of paper
and write PRO and CON at the top.
List 3 and only 3 things they liked and list 3 things I could
improve. 225 Record your rehearsals and actual presentations on
videotape. 228 The most effective communicators are expressive--yet fully
in control. They are alive with
energy. They consciously control the
emotion in their own behavior. To
become effective, we must relearn how to be fully expressive. Rediscover the uninhibited state of the
2-year-old. 239 All a lectern is good for is manufacturing boredom. 246 Make the formal situation informal. 247 Whether you think
you can, or you think you can’t, you’re probably right. 266 * * * * * |