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DorMyre 08-01-04 My Reality Check Bounced! The
Twentysomething's Guide to Cashing In on Your Real-World Dreams Jason Ryan Dorsey Broadway
Books, 2007, 236 pp., ISBN 978-0-7679-2183-1 |
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Jason is an
audacious twentysomething who believes anyone can achieve their dreams. His books shows how others have done it and
you can too. It is written for all
twenty-somethings with "a determination to create success on your own terms. You don't want to play by someone else's
rules." You don't want to be like
Tiffany who, "At twenty-four years old, …felt she was running hard but going nowhere." (2-3) This is a
distinctly 21st century American bootstraps book. As you read, do you respond by thinking,
"Get real!" or "Go for it!"? Why? "Your
vision of a meaningful, fulfilling life can conflict with an impersonal real
world that does not want to accommodate your needs, ambition, personality,
background, and perspective. It
expects you to accommodate it!" [Welcome to the real world.
dlm] The author suggests that you do
have to give in to this unfortunate state of affairs! Tiffany said, "I never saw how much
control I had over my life until I used it." (5) The message of
the book: "You choose your own path.
You choose where you work. You
choose whom you date. You choose where
you live. You choose what you
study. You choose what you do in your
free time. You choose, and those
choices strung together become your life." You can make it happen by courageously
standing up for yourself. (6) Many
twentysomethings feel frustration and discontent, unexpectedly uninspired
about their place in the world.
"They were expecting the real world to bring them happiness,
meaning, and purpose; but instead it brought confusion and second
guessing." (12-13) "You can
free yourself to do what you've always wanted by creating and then locking on
to a personally meaningful picture of the future you demand to
live." "Be honest about what
inspires, delights, and excites you." (21) Call this your
"Future Picture. It's an
emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual molding of what your life would be
like if you could wave a magic wand and
make it just the way you want it." (22) Picture your
future in four snapshots: career, family, personal, and purpose. (25-6)
"I challenge you to find a way to taste, touch, smell, hear, and see it right now." (33) "Passion is
the simmering energy inside all of us that boils over when we are living our
greatest, mot authentic purpose."
"Passion is burning desire
that drives dedication action." (39)
"Finding your passion will change your life, too. Finding your passion will push you to dream
big and act on those dreams." (40) "One small
step toward your passion is a giant leap toward making it a reality."
(43) "Differing
perceptions create conflict between people, because personal perception
determines what you believe to be true and permits you to believe only
evidence that reinforces your time-tested opinion. This happens because your super-powerful
brain automatically adjusts what you smell, hear, taste, touch, and see to
fit your deeper beliefs about what is right, wrong, and possible in the
world." (56) "With time
and practice, you can refine your perception to become virtual radar for
discovering all sorts of opportunities."
"Start by telling yourself that opportunity is everywhere. When you have an opportunity state of mind,
every problem is a possibility for greater achievement…." (57) Coach
yourself. "Start by inserting
into your internal conversation thoughts about all the incredible opportunity
that exists in the world." (60)
"What you repeatedly
tell yourself becomes what you think, and what you think becomes what you
believe, and what you believe becomes what your mind sees. When the voice in your head tells your eyes
opportunity is everywhere, your eyes will adjust to see it so you can then
live it." (62) "Surround
yourself with people who push you to reach a higher level of success."
(63) Six Questions of
Opportunity: (68-70) 1.
What
specifically is the opportunity? 2.
What
are the measurable outcomes from this opportunity? 3.
Do
these outcomes move you closer to your Future Picture? 4.
Are
you passionate about this opportunity and its potential outcomes? 5.
What
resources do you need to act on this opportunity? 6.
Who
can help you research this opportunity and possibly play a role in pursuing
it? "Every
quality person you add to your network brings with him his entire
network. With the right people in your
network you can get through to pretty much anyone imaginable." (73) "You send
and receive signals in two main ways: physically and verbally. You physically send and receive signals by
the way you carry yourself, smile, laugh, listen, frown, cry, walk, shake
hands, stand, make eye contact, dress and so on. You verbally send and receive signals by
how you talk, ask questions, debate, joke, e-mail, instant message,
interrupt, offend, gossip, profile yourself on a site like myspace.com, and
so forth. To get plugged in and stay
connected you must fine tune your signals to match the Future Picture you
desire." (77-8) "Image is
the bundle of signals your physical actions and presence send into the
world." (84) "Keep your head
up." Dress appropriately
("What message does your billboard sell?" "The part you dress for is often the
part you get.") Leave a paper
trail. ("Looking good on paper says lots about you and how you see
yourself in the future.) Keep your
home, office, and car organized, clean and in order. (84-88) "Left to
run free in your imagination, your past can make you hesitant to dream big
and live life to its fullest… ...it's all in your past--not your future. What you do from now on is your
future." (117) "You become
what you choose to carry from your past." Define the three strongest memories
(defining moments) from your past: up to age 10, age 11-20, age 21-30, after
30. "These are the events in your
past that, decade by decade, shaped who you are today." (122-24) Try following
three steps to move beyond your toughest memories. 1. Add perspective. 2. Find the good within the bad. 3. Write a new ending. (125) "For
every minute you spend learning from your past, you save hours of future
frustration." (127) "The final
step toward putting your past behind so you can reach for what's possible is
tying up your loose ends. Loose ends
are the unresolved relationships that keep you from sleeping worry free at
night." Here is a rough sketch of
the four steps. 1.
Identify
the five people with whom you have the most unresolved issues. 2.
Contact
each of these five loose ends. Tell
them you want to apologize for allowing things to get crosswise between you. 3.
Show
up on time and thank each one for being forgiving enough to meet with
you. Tell the person you want to
apologize for whatever you did that hurt him.
Listen to each issue that is raised and try to see it from their
perspective. Don't interrupt. Apologize for each thing they think you did
wrong. 4.
At the
end of the conversation, thank each once again for talking with you. (129-30) "You can
create excuses or you can create solutions, but you can't create both at the
same time." (134) "You cannot
outrun your fears. To demolish them
you must run through them." (158) "What you
do with your time shows what you most prize." (178) "As long as
Sara stayed in a hurry, she felt as if she were on top of the world or fast
approaching it." "She was in
the eye of an adrenaline tornado."
"It was only in the rare moments when she stopped sprinting that
her spirit dropped." (181) "I had been running so fast I didn't
notice I was running on a treadmill." (187) "She was
starting to see that being in a hurry wasn't necessarily success, but being
happy with your life was." (182)
"The truth is, fulfillment comes from having a life not from a twenty-four-hour job." (183) "Being busy
rarely equals success." (186) "The most
powerful word in any language for refocusing your schedule to match your life
priorities: no." (188) Ethics: "If you
can't tell your mama about it, you probably shouldn't be doing it."
(195) "Just one ill-conceived or
ill-planned or ill-timed unethical choice can set you up for years of painful
consequences that would otherwise have been avoidable." (195) "If your
decision made newspaper headline, would you be jeered or cheered?"
(206) "In my experience, even the
smallest white lie can take on a monstrous life of its own." (207) Theme of the
book: "Take a
chance and explore other opportunities.
If you can't see those opportunities, go create them! You don't have to punch a clock every day
if your most inspiring dream is to travel the world. Go do it now." (212) "By opening
myself up to different possibilities and a more authentic path, I can
experience more meaning than I ever dreamed possible." (214) "The sky is no longer the limit."
(224) |
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