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ThrAsce2
05-1-7 ASCENT OF A LEADER How ordinary relationships develop extraordinary character
and influence Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and Ken McElrath Jossey-Bass Publishers, 2000, 200 pp. |
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This is a powerful book about becoming the kind of leader
whom others want to follow. People
follow leaders they trust in an atmosphere where they are affirmed, are
protected, and have their needs met.
People learn to trust leaders of character, those who demonstrate
credibility and integrity, who are unselfish and truly care for and serve
people. Character develops in leaders who are known deeply and influenced by
others in relationship. Such leaders
climb the “character ladder” vs. the “capacity ladder” of success. Chapter one explores the relationship between our inner
lives and our influence. Chapter two
describes the capacity ladder to success, a short cut that eventually
fails. Chapters three and four
describe the character ladder, whose rails are environment and
relationships. Chapters five through
seven describe the rungs, the choices which avoid leadership
dysfunctions. Chapters eight and nine
describe the pitfalls and the price of the character ladder. Chapters ten and eleven speculate on the
destiny of true character leaders and the challenges that ensue. (3) “Character – the inner world of motives and values that
shapes our actions – is the ultimate determiner of the nature of our
leadership. It empowers our
capacities while keeping them in check.
It distinguishes those who steward power well from those who abuse
power. Character weaves such values
as integrity, honesty, and selfless service into the fabric of our lives,
organizations, and cultures.” (1-2) “…none of us can
avoid leadership altogether. We all
influence others. We can’t escape
it.” (10) “Of all the challenges in life, it is those we discover
beneath the surface that will most affect the legacy of our leadership.” (12) More than 70% of leaders do not finish well. They lose their learning posture, stop
listening and growing, decline in character, stop living by their
convictions, fail to leave behind ultimate contributions, stop walking in an
awareness of their influence and destiny, lose their vibrant relationships
with God. (study by Dr. Robert J. Clinton, Fuller, 14) A leader whose skills outstrip character formation will
eventually falter. (from Robert J.
Clinton) (14) Honesty is the most significant characteristic individuals
desire in leaders (Kouzes and Posner).
(14) “God uses the totality of our life experiences, both good
and bad to mold and shape each of us uniquely toward specific purposes and
goals for our lives.” Our choices
reveal the fabric of our faith and imprint themselves on our influence. (16) Leadership is a challenging and unpredictable climb. The pressure of success, the temptations
of privilege, the demands of followers, and the isolations of leadership make
the ladder shaky at the top. (17) The short ladder to success is based on capacity. The rungs are: Discover what I can
do. Develop my capacities. Acquire title or position. Attain individual potential. (18)
If success does not include healthy relationships,
honesty, and integrity, leaders may accomplish much but never amount to
much! Relational problems often
expose character immaturity. The
character gap often creates big leaders on short ladders. (20-1) Question: Who benefits from your success? (24) One thing of real importance the leader does is to create
and manage culture. “The ability to
initiate and sustain positive cultural changes may prove to be the single
greatest need of 21st century organizations.” “Positive cultural change means removing
the barriers between what is good within our own souls and what is good
within the soul of the cultures we live in.”
(26-7) In the absence of an atmosphere of grace, people won’t
reach for their potential. All
possibilities entail risk and to take risks, we need to feel a certain degree
of safety and security in our environment.
(29) The two rails of the Character Ladder are Environments of
Grace and Relationships of Grace.
“Developing healthy relationships in an unhealthy environment is
nearly impossible.” (31) “An environment of grace (a
psychologically ‘safe’ environment) works hand in hand with relationships of
grace to create cultures in which trust, creativity, hope, and other positive
outcomes emerge.” (32) “Environment includes things like organizational style, sentiments,
expectations, and certain artifacts” (like what we hang on the wall or the
music we play.) “The environment that
we create is something that goes out of us.
We are not simply products of our environment. Our environments are also a product of us.” (33) “When leaders create an atmosphere of care and concern,
hope and vision flourish.” Grace
means that we don’t just tolerate people unlike us. It means we “extend unmerited favor” to them. We admit our own weaknesses and failures
and receive the strengths of others despite their weaknesses. (39) The Hawthorne experiment demonstrated that “the most
significant factor affecting organizational productivity was…interpersonal
relationships that are developed on the job.” (44) Relationships are time-intensive. When relationships are ignored or used for
personal gain and then left behind, leadership tends to turn into personal
power over others. (45) “Every relationship has the potential to provide something
we need. And every relationship has a
purpose for us – to meet someone else’s need. We meet needs in others through expressions of our love. For example, when we listen, we meet
someone’s need for attention. When we
affirm, we meet someone’s need for significance. …we are fulfilled only when love comes to us in grace, in the
context of unmerited favor.” (47) “We experience the deepest fulfillment when we receive
attributes of love that meet our needs and then reciprocate, reflecting our
concern back onto others according to our calling and gifts.” (48) “The character ladder leads to a relational organization –
a community – that honors the completion of tasks. The capacity ladder typically leads to a task-driven
organization, at the expense of people.”
“But leaders on the character ladder treat people as the object
and focus of their success.” (50) “Living the truth is more important than living for
success.” “…character-ladder leaders
will protect relationships, even though commitment, patience, and time can be
costly.” (50) “Fulfillment sprouts from how well we
connect with those around us every day….”
(51) “If people affirm us for who we are, this ignites a desire
to please them.” “But if we lack a
sense of acceptance, either from God or from others, we become edgy and apprehensive,
and we second-guess others.” (52) “Practicing acceptance does not mean we abandon
performance standards or accountability in our organizations.” “But to maintain a basis for healthy
accountability, the organization must also accept its role as a
community.” (52-3) We need acceptance to be and do our
best. (55) “Another fruit of relationships of grace is honesty. When people experience grace despite their
failures, they gain the strength to face the truth without fear. Those who live amid ungracious
relationships learn to hide the truth.
This is why capacity-ladder leaders tend to focus on the appearance
of performance…. Mistakes get
concealed.” (56) “People who live in this kind of sustaining community have
far more fun….” “Only the character
ladder promotes such a sustaining community.” Question: How much
of what you do is truly a reflection of who you are? (59) Climbing the character ladder begins with an act of
trust. Our character, and therefore
our influence, flows from the center of our lives, which is made up of our
choices of whom, what, when, and where we trust – which defines who we
are. “The heart – the inner life,
shaped primarily by trust – molds our motives. Our motives establish our values. And our values govern our actions. What we believe about ourselves takes root and is nourished in
our hearts. And it’s from the heart
that our destiny – our ultimate influence and value – flows.” (63) Choosing whom to trust is never simple. Our reasons for trusting can usually be
found deep within our own character as well as in the character of those we
choose to follow. (65) The myth of self-sufficiency must end. “We must let our seed of destiny fall to
the ground and be buried, because this is the only way it can begin to
germinate and grow. We must awaken to
our need for God and each other.”
“But it is our need for God’s care and commitment, our need for
others’ care and commitment, that motivates us to take the first step in
climbing the character ladder.
Without an awareness of our needs, the step is impossible to
take.” (68) “This merging between our plans and God’s intentions for
our character is the goal of the character ladder.” “Our acknowledging God’s nature creates genuine humility. When we come face-to-face with the
strength of God – not as worthless people but as people who are willing to
present all our strengths, talents, and influence to the strong hands of a
loving Creator – we demonstrate our trust in God’s nature and authority.” “Entrusting ourselves to God is the
essence of the biblical understanding of humility. (69-70) “Humility – recognizing that God is God and we are not –
is the only catalyst that can enable our character to germinate
properly.” “God created us to trust
him and to trust others with the deepest parts of our lives. This trust requires humility.” (70) “In a community and environment of grace, we are able to
take steps of trust with people very different from ourselves….” “…when we refuse to turn away people
different from ourselves, accepting them for who they are, we will be amazed
at how little we have sacrificed and how much we have gained.” (71)
And it is much easier “when we understand and trust that our destiny
rests in God’s hands….” (72) “When we entrust ourselves to God in this way, humility
creates increasing gratitude and decreasing greed.” (72) “Men of power are feared, but only men of character are
trusted.” (Arthur Friedman, 73) “With eyes wide open, take a step of faith, expressing
your willingness to trust God and others with you.” (73) Question: Who
trusts you? Most leaders don’t know what to do about their
isolation. They can’t seem to connect
in meaningful ways. (75-6) “To be vulnerable means to come under another’s
influence.” (77) Whom can you
approach with the desires of your heart, asking them to provide counsel on
whether those desires make sense?
“Sometimes the only way we can see our talents objectively is through
the eyes of others.” (79) We must
trust God and find others who can be trusted implicitly. Find a mentor or an advisory group and
meet regularly for mutual vulnerability and support. (81) “Vulnerability does not mean transparency. Transparency is simply disclosing yourself
to others at time and in ways that you choose. Vulnerability means “you choose to let others know you, to have
access to your life, to teach you, and to influence you.” “In part, this true vulnerability is what
the Bible means when it speaks of submission. Submission is a love word, not a control word.” “…the degree to which we submit to others
is the degree to which we will experience their love….” (81) The progression:
“Vulnerability causes people to know your life is open to them. You are teachable. You will allow the cracks in your life to
be not only seen but also filled as you receive their influence. This process expresses your integrity to
others, and it helps sustain your integrity.” It is authenticity.
(82) “Integrity is an uncompromising adherence to truth.” “Integrity is essential to trust. It elicits trust.” “Our integrity is always for the benefit
of those we influence. And
vulnerability expresses and sustains such integrity.” (83) “Earning the trust of others leads to a natural third
result: vulnerability expands influence and productivity.” (83) “The greater the degree of influence, the greater the
potential for a leader to lead a lonely and hidden existence…, [to be] seduced into hiding the truth
about themselves in order to create or maintain an image…. …people at the top may live lives of
pretense and disguise….” “But it
doesn’t have to be this way.” (85) Find two or more people you trust implicitly. Come under their influence in a deep
way. Call them and schedule a time to
get together and tell them what’s in your heart. (89) “The character ladder is not as concerned with what we do
as it is with who we are. Its
emphasis is on human ‘being’ more than human ‘doing.’ Instead of the What questions, it asks the
Why questions.” “The true test of
character [is] not just coming under others’ influence but acting on the
wisdom and truth of their counsel.
Aligning with truth...” (94) “The climb up the character ladder is a climb toward
interdependence.” “It’s staying
hidden that kills you.” (96) “The trust about who we are cannot be
wholly known without interaction with others. We all have blind spots that only others can see.” (98) “Ultimately,
our standards for character should not come from tests, but rather from
God.” “When we ask what truth we must
align with, we must remember that ‘all the Law and the Prophets hang on these
two commandments’ to love God and love others.” “Jesus exhorted, ‘DO this and you will live.’” (100) “…when we are left to our own judgment of ourselves, it
becomes pretty easy to overlook or excuse misalignments…. We may just keep adopting a lower standard
for our relationships while giving assent to a higher standard in our
minds.” (101 Paying the Price.
“…we come face to face with daily opportunities to set aside …
short-ladder payoffs in order to make profound differences in the lives of
others. The tension comes in deciding
which to choose, especially when some character-ladder choices require
capacity-ladder setbacks.” (110) Will I use my power to hold on to my
position and privileges, to hide or shade the truth, and slowly drift off
course? (111) A restatement of the thesis to this point: “To experience the benefits of love,
people must receive love. For love to
be received, the receiver must trust the giver of love. To be trusted, the give of love must have
integrity. To have integrity, the
giver of love must submit to others in vulnerability and align with truth in
obedience. At the bottom of all this,
givers of love must entrust themselves to God in humility.” (113) “Trusted friends who know us and share our values can help
us evaluate the costs of our decisions, reminding us of the goal of our
climb.” (116) “A crisis often causes people to lose
objectivity.” (117) “When a leader loses objectivity, it can
be quite difficult to distinguish organizational problems from the leader’s
personal problems.” (119) “When we allow failure to teach us humility, we discover a
shortcut back to the road of truth.”
(119) Question: What
significant challenges are you facing on the character ladder? (122) “All of us cause ourselves some suffering through our own
failures, but it’s our response to such failures that proves and develops
character.” (123) “…suffering and trials can also come from
making good choices.” People of
character often make the right decisions in trials because they place a very
high value their influence. “They
view character maturity as worth the risks of potential setbacks.” (124-5) “The higher leaders climb, the greater the risks….” Sometimes “we may never get back what we
give up.” But the gold we are really
after is the character and influence God intended for us. “Such freedom always comes at a price.” (126) Facing Injustice.
“Will I satisfy myself or place the needs of others above my own? Will I trust in my own abilities, or will
I trust God’s trustworthiness? Will I
be driven by circumstances or by conviction?
Will I demand immediate gratification or accept delays, perhaps even
permanent ones?” (131) “Paying the price…[is] about reaching your destiny by
entrusting it to the capable hands of God.”
(133) “It’s not suffering for suffering’s sake but rather the
choices we make during our suffering that reveal and nurture our
character.” (135) Question: List
three to five of your own nonnegotiable values. (136) All of us long to leave an enduring legacy. (138) Sometime leaders are surprised by a
destiny far beyond their expectations.
(139) “When we examine the natural talents of great influencers
we often find little that distinguishes them from others. But when we look at their character, we
find the essential ingredients of their greatness. They trusted God and others.”
(146) Keeping Your Balance and Taking Risks. Everyone has a built-in risk index between
0 (no risk) and 1 (jump out of an airplane with no parachute). Good leaders need a risk index a little
north of 0.5. (149) Confront complacency. Avoid over-dependence on patterns of
safety and security. Welcome a little
discomfort and insecurity. Strive to
increase your risk index as you age.
(150) Near the top, leaders serve others on the basis of their
compassion and convictions.
Leadership becomes stewardship.
(151-2) “We must continually
seek to find ways to integrate our hearts with our hands, our agenda with our
dreams, and our capacities with our character. Otherwise we put our destiny at risk.” (153)
Near the top, leaders are sought out by others as
mentors. “Change and growth require
teachability.” (155) “Hear and be
heard. Teach and be taught. Remain teachable and teach others along
the way.” (156) “Leaders who look out for the interests of
others stand a much better chance….”
(159) “Each life is a work of art, created with living,
breathing paints with a will of their own.
We actively participate in the process of our own making. We sometimes get glimpses into the
Master’s purpose as we see the brush strokes in our lives come together. But from day to day, it can be difficult
to make sense of the seeming absurdities of our own foibles and
troubles.” (168) “We come into this world with selfish motives. Our motives must change in order to become
the kind of person others want to follow.
Nobody wants to follow a selfish person.” “To be an unselfish servant, we must become something we cannot
be by nature. Our very hearts must be
changed. This means we must come (or
be brought) to the end of our self-sufficiency, …, our self-devaluation. When we do, we can accept our need of
grace. At the end of
self-sufficiency, we can find God-sufficiency. At the end of our lonely road of isolation, we can find and
take the path to community. Coming to
the end of self brings us to reliance upon God, where we gain the motivation
we need to climb the character ladder.”
(171-2) Climbing the character ladder begins with community. It happens one relationship at a time;
therefore it is never beyond your grasp.
Find allies who are willing to stand with you, ordinary people who
will be willing to tell you the truth and who will also receive truth from
you. Hang out with those who are
willing to extend unconditional acceptance to you, rooted in their own
experience of God’s grace. Start
small. (175-6) Community is management practice. You must commit time. Without time, vulnerability becomes very
difficult. With time, people can let
down their guard, make themselves vulnerable, build trust, and encourage one
another on the character ladder.
(176-7) “Each
of us must decide whether [we] will walk in the light of creative altruism or
in the darkness of destructive selfishness.”
(Dr. martin Luther King Jr., 179) “What we do matters less than who we are. How we do things matters less than for
whom we do them. As we look back at
the work of art called a life, who we became and whom we served will expose
our true intent.” (180) ****** |
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